Sink bugs...

Brown Adult Stink Bug

Yeah I'm am actually going to vent about these nasty bugs that are becoming a plague in the eastern area.  Quit Playn' was actually under attack one morning!  If it wasn't bad enough the damn thing woke me up before my alarm at 5 AM.  Enjoying a nice dream all comfy cozy in my warm bed only to get all that nonsense cut short.  I open my eyes and what do I see but this huge ass bug staring back at me.  Do I scream?  Nope.  Do I panic?  Not yet.  I calmly climb out of my warm queen size deep pocket bed and ran to the bathroom for some tissue.  Creep back to the bedroom and don't dare turn on a light.  Light from the TV is all I need to see his butt.  But it moved to the center of the bed where my 5'2" height can't get to it.  Do I give up and let it go?  Nah!  Slowly I climb back into the bed.  Just as I start to stand it moves further up the damn wall.  Oh Lawd why now?  BEEP BEEP BEEP, great now the alarm is going off.  Do I take my eyes off the bug and smack the alarm or keep in pursuit of the bug with arms extended and tissue in finger tips?  Ahh smack the alarm it's distracting me!  Turn my focus back on the bug.  Still there, whew!  Inching closer and closer, don't want to make any sudden movements (although why I was thinking that after smacking the alarm I have no idea).  I do a quick move forward and 'snatch' got his butt.  I can feel the legs moving in the tissue trying to get out.  Now I have to move quickly to the toilet to give him his watery grave, taking care not to squeeze the smelly little booger (they give off one nasty stench calling in the troops when in distress).  I jumped down off the bed landing on my left leg alone, bounced off the wall directly in front of me.  Did a sweet 360 move off the wall as if I were Mendenhall (GO STEELERS) bouncing off the defence heading for the touchdown.  Dashed to the toilet and dropped him and the tissue in the toilet, only to find that it's trying to make a run for the top of the tissue.  FLUSH slam the lid, just in case.  Go to turn back to the bed room on my left leg and drop to the floor!  All the pain started rushing threw my entire body all at once.  Did I just break my leg and not know it?  The adrenalin that was running threw me totally shut down all thoughts of pain until I had that bug out of my hands.  I try to get up, taking care not to put any of my weight on my left leg.  Ah, I am now in the full up right position... what the hell is wrong with my left side?  Take a step and what a shakie step it was.  Great now I'm a hobbit, hobbling on one leg!  And will be for the rest of my life.  A stink bug took Quit Playn' out y'all!  Man down for sure.

Now I don't recommend doing any of the steps that I took to get rid of them.  I have been told to just pull out a vacuum and use a hose then discard his butt.  But all that would take too long if you ask me.  Not many bugs scare me but this one does.  The smell they give makes you want to just torch everything an move!  Smashing them only bring more so that's not an option either.  If you do decide to go head to head with one DO IT FROM THE GROUND!  And if by chance you should have to be up high to catch one... just think of me, QP the hobbit, and don't do it!